Blue Valentine Greeting

Yesterday morning, I noticed this Valentine greeting on our marker board....

Now before you start thinking that I have the least romantic hubby alive, let me tell you the story.....

Sometime in January, we realized that the van ran out of inspection the end of December.  We have not received any awards for being the most observant folks, but we were a little surprised that we missed such an important date!!  We are thankful we didn't receive any fines, but just a friendly reminder from a police officer at the gas station, "your sticker ran out, better take care of that." Anyway, we faced a dilemma, our van seems to be hobbling along on it's last leg (oops, I mean tire), sputters and shakes whenever it pleases, and we were informed that it would not pass inspection unless we had some welding done to the frame.  I would get concerned, and "shaken" up, if I had to drive a far distance and Dave would feel frustrated, for he tried to fix it himself to no avail.  Is it worth spending the money to get it fixed?  Will money fall out of the sky for another vehicle?  Well, our dearest son-in-law said he would do the welding and our nephew does our mechanical work (for a reasonable fee) and he said he could finally inspect it yesterday, so we decided to try to get some more life out of the jitney.  So, when Dave wakes up on Valentine's morning, his "blue" mind thinks, "yes, today the van will be fixed!" and my "pink" mind, after seeing the board's message, goes, "I'm in trouble."  My pink quickly starts to fade into light purple as I mix in the blue of the situation and realize, he loves me so much and wants me to have a safe vehicle to drive.  He works so hard to meet the needs of our family.  He is a responsible husband. 

HE LOVES ME!!!  ♥

 And I know he is more romantic than a blue (yes, he deliberately made it blue) message on a marker board!  In fact, he loves giving and receiving flowers more than I do.  I would rather go for a walk with him.  Different languages, but still love! 

Well, we get our van back in the evening and it still sputters!   Instead of seeing blue or pink, we both were tempted to see red!   Maybe it is on it's last 1/2 of a tire!  I don't know, maybe our family should consider taking up marathon running, or bike racing.  We could still go places, plus get in excellent shape and no state inspection sticker required!  Can't decide if that thought would be considered more blue or pink?  ;)

Happy Belated Valentines Day.  Hope it was neither blue nor pink, but light purple!

(to understand the differences between "blue" and "pink", we highly recommend the Love and Respect by Emerson Eggrichs)

Until next time....... 

Double Digits for Oliver

10 years old is such a milestone in a child's life.  Sounds more grown up than just plain old number 9.   Oliver made that milestone yesterday, the 4th.  To think that our youngest is now in the double digits is a thought that Dave & I aren't sure we are comfortable with.  Too bad, though, right?  Can't stop growing up from happening, so we stop, take a look at our children, increase the hugging, and remind ourselves to take more pictures!!

At Oliver's first exam in the hosp. after his birth, the Dr. heard a heart murmur.  Knowing the history of Solomon's congenital heart condition, the Dr. sent Oliver for an echo.  Sure enough, he also had a coarctation of the aorta.  They prepped him to be flown to Hershey for surgery.  At 3 days old, Oliver had the narrowing repaired, which was done through the ribs on his left side.  He spent 5 days in the PICU and was sent home with a nervous mama and papa.  He thrived and grew quickly. 

However, like Solomon, he had a weakness for croup.  Over the last few years, whenever he got a simple cold, it escalated quickly into a tight cough and the need for meds that aren't good for a person.  These episodes became more frequent and more frustrating.  At the beginning of January, this year, we saw a pulmonary specialist at Hershey.  She suspected he has reflux, which was confirmed with an Upper GI.  We then saw a GI specialist, who also wanted to do some tests.  Fact - reflux can cause respiratory illness - just in case you didn't know. :)  Today, Oliver had a bronchoscopy (where they take a look at the airway with a scope) and endoscopy (taking a look at the esophagus and stomach) done at Hershey.  Both tests looked good, but we still have to wait for biopsies to come back.  He was a trooper today!  So proud of him!  However, I became a wreck!  First of all, they wanted Dave & I in the room till he was put to sleep.  I wanted to be there for Oliver's sake and he remembers us rubbing his arm and legs while he went to sleep.  But, watching the Dr. put that mask over his face and watching Oliver slowly lose conscientiousness is not a picture I want to store in my mind.  It was my undoing.  I know that I have shared before that I have scars from all the scary medical events we had with our children.  Scars are the markings of hidden pain and scary memories and sometimes those scars open up and all the hidden is relived.  That is what happens to me and today was one of those times.  I relived the anxious moments in that waiting room and hallway, the anxious moments of standing beside the boys cribs wondering when, or if, they would come home.  Hershey Hosp. is a great place!  They save lives, just like they did for Solomon and Oliver.  But inside those walls are many parents, children, brothers and sisters, and grandparents every day experiencing anxious moments for loved ones.  Life moves on and those moments, including the feelings and emotions, become past tense, but for me, and probably many other people, they remain in our minds and hearts forever.  Maybe for some, it a mother thing, or personality thing, a perspective thing or what ever else thing, but I know it is a real thing.  I also know that words of thanksgiving can be proclaimed from the silo tops, for we can celebrate each birthday knowing what a gift, what a blessing, our children really are.  Thank you, Heavenly Father!

Happy 10th birthday, Oliver.  We loved you meal selection of mashed potatoes, meatballs and corn and you did a great job decorating your big cookie!

Until next time................

 

Season of Change

The following was a previous blog post.  Thought I would repost it and then add to it.  

Thursday, 19 May 2011

• Our Farm Life Beginnings

  Dave has always had agriculture in his blood.   He did not grow up on a farm, but helped neighboring farmers either grow produce or milk cows.  I, also, did not grow up on a farm and never dreamt that I would ever live on one.  Dave eventually started working in construction.  After we got married and were able to live in the country on 2 acres, Dave was able to satisfy some of his agriculture longings by growing produce and selling it to local stores and going to produce auctions.  At the beginning of 1998, we opened a small bulk food and produce store.  We were only open on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.  It started out looking like this.....but we quickly built shelves and counters....
  
  
  We raised what we could for the store and also purchased wholesale from Bill's Produce. Around the time we were getting ready to open this, Dave fell 13 ft. through a barn floor at a construction site.  He hit his head, needed stitches, had a concussion, broke some ribs and twisted his knee.  We also learned that I was pregnant with #4.
  
  He was off work for about 3 months, which allowed him time to do what he could in the store.  We LOVED having him home and it was during this time that we decided to seriously pursue a career that would enable us to work together as a family.  The day he returned to construction there was not a dry eye in our family.   The store thrived all summer and we were loving it, but we reached a point where we either had to get bigger and hire help (our children were not old enough to run it), or quit.  It did not have the income for Dave to quit construction.  I became very restricted with my pregnancy and eventually had to be on bed rest.  Taking all things into consideration, we decided to sell the store.  Sad, but a necessary thing.  However, our goal remained to look for another family opportunity.  We heard of a local farmer who was looking for tenants to rent a farm he just purchased.  Our goal was met and in January 1999, we started milking 98 cows in a parlor.
  
  We could write a book about the adjustments to dairy life!  Ben was 10, Kelsey 8, Solomon 5, and George 3 months.  We were not able to move into the house on the farm yet, so we had to travel about 1 1/2 miles back and forth to the cows.  Oh my, did we learn alot!  We still talk about the time when we learned that we were going to be dairy farmers and we would be able to work together as a family.  Dave's comment still rings in our ears "this is going to be great!".  That "great" soon, and very soon, became harsh reality!  To some people, dairy farming looks like this gravy occupation where we leisurely milk cows and have part of the day off.  Not true!  Those cows needed to eat and they eat LOTS, which mean they also produce alot of manure, which needed to be cleaned up. We had heifers and calves that needed care and milking took about 2 1/2 hrs. every AM & PM.  We had to have hired help.  Our days became a blur and we realized that our idea of farming was not farming like this.  We didn't want this many cows, nor hired help, nor someone else in control of the feed (we had a deal with the farm owner - he raised the feed for part of the milk check - don't let anyone do that!).  We started looking for a smaller farm, with tie stalls, and one day we saw an ad in the Lancaster Farming that a farm was for rent in a neighboring county.  The barn had not been milked in for years, but could be set up again for dairy.  We took the plunge.  Our family and friends came along side of us and helped to get the place ready for us to move in.
  
  That is it!  The picture was taken at the door, so that is how small the barn was.  It was only 28 stalls, so we sold 1/2 the herd.  We would milk all the cows in the barn and then let 1/2 of them out and bring more in.  It was still alot of hard work, but after 2 years of adjusting to the new place, we loved it!  We loved our neighbors, the community, and the farm!  We got to the point where we did not need a hire hand.  Dave had to work away a few days a week, though, but it was still good.  We have many fond memories of the place on Schwartz Valley Rd..  We had signed a 5 year lease and had a very good relationship with the landlord (no, he did not raise our feed).  However, about 1 year before our lease ran out, he hired someone else to oversee his properties, and things started to go downhill.  Our rent was to go up at the end of our lease and we felt it was not worth it for how small the barn was.  So, once again, we started searching for another place.  It is one thing to move your family, but another thing to move your family, a herd of cows and equipment.  We searched state wide, and in surrounding states, for a farm.  None seemed to be the place for us.  By March/April 2004, we had much of our belongings packed away in a tractor trailer, but nowhere to go.  We were considering selling the cows and even had a cow dealer scheduled to come look at them.   Then one of our feedmen brought a flyer of a farm for sale back in the area we came from.   God had His hand in it, some deals were offered and we decided to buy it.  However,  it would not be ready to move into by the time we had to move out of our farm.  A wonderful friend of ours had a barn that we could use, so he fixed it up for us to move the cows there.  Ok, the cows now had a place to move to, but where do we go?  In June, we moved into my mom's basement.  We thought is would only be for about 3-4 weeks.  It turned into 3 months!  During that 3 months, we were able to move the cows onto our farm, but the house needed much attention and we could not live there while working on it.  Let me tell you, it was the most difficult 3 months for our family.  Oh, we were very thankful to my mom for putting up with us, for friends who came and helped us each week, but traveling back and forth, spending all summer working our heads off trying to get the house ready to live in took it's toll on our family.  Uriah and Oliver were just small and I remember Uriah wondering where his home was.  In September, we moved into the house, although it was not finished, it was a necessary thing to do.  This year marks the 7th year that we will be here.  Wow!  That long already?  Alot has happened since we moved here, but for some reason whenever May and June rolls around, memories of those uncertain times in 2004 flood back.  One obvious thing sticks out to us and that is how God knew where we were going to move to, but He choose to surprise us with the answer at the last minute.  We see His hand in all our farming days.  It has been a test of faith.  It has been a journey, a journey with a lot of trials, but a journey necessary for character building and our spiritual growth.   The journey will continue and I am sure it will hold it's share of trials and lessons, for you see, that is what life is all about - trials, triumphs, lessons, learning and growing, always learning and growing.  It will end with the grave and meeting the One who has traveled the journey with us. 
  

  Until next time...........  

And the journey had continued to 2013.  It will be 9 years this year that we are on this farm and the trials and character building had continued on since the above post.  Most of the difficulty that we faced with the farm were due to circumstances that were out of our hands.  Rising feed prices due to corn going for ethanol and low milk prices.  With us having to purchase feed, this became a losing situation.  Toward the end of 2012 we started to slowly sell, or butcher, cows.   Today, we are only milking 7 cows once a day and their milk goes to feeding a few heifer calves and for our daily consumption.  In the near future even that number will dwindle.  January 18th, 2013, (exactly 14 years from the beginning) marked the definite end of our dairy days and a new beginning.  Ben & Solomon bought part of the farm, working full time away and Dave is now a full time mason.  Our goal for the farm is to raise beef, chicken and pork and to forget the days of getting up before the sun to milk. 

 

We are looking forward to this new beginning and we would like to thank all our friends and family for praying for us and encouraging us through a few years of uncertainty here on Summer Hill Farm. 

Until next time..............     

My Somewhat of a Secret

Oh, I just couldn't tell some people what I just had done.  No way!  I would be judged and criticized for my lack of faith.  And on top of that I felt horribly guilty and incomplete.  Over many years, the event grew dimmer and settled more into the back of my mind, until Monday the topic came up in a conversation with a friend.  The memories rolled over me and the guilt once again wanted to settle on my shoulders.

Almost 10 years ago, Oliver was born by C-section.  He was our 6th child - my 6th C-section.  Due to Ben being born emergency, the Dr's had given me a vertical incision and informed me that I would never deliver a baby naturally due to contractions possibly rupturing the incision.  For the next 5 babies, a horizontal incision was used, which created an intersection of scar tissue.  For our last 3 children, we had an agreement with the Dr's that they would give their "medical" opinion on whether we could have any more children.  All was fine until I carried Oliver and upon delivery they discovered a "window" in my uterus at the intersection.  We had prayed that the Lord would speak through the Dr. and she strongly advised us to have no more children.  With Dave by my side, we mutually agreed and gave consent for them to give me a tubal ligation.  The risks of another pregnancy could mean the lives of me and the baby.  Dave was not interested in raising our 6 children alone and had total peace about our decision.  However, later that day, the reality of what a tubal ligation really meant hit me hard, REALLY hard.  A stage of my life was over at the hands of a Dr.. An amazing part of my female body would no longer function properly.  Oh, the Dr. did not warn that the side effects would be emotional turmoil.  In their minds, and in their books, this procedure is simple, convenient and side effect free.  Not for me, nor my dear friend who, I discovered Monday in our conversation, had the same procedure.  At the time of our procedures, we both knew that there were people out there that stood firm on the thought that God controls the family size - you don't intervene, and faith brings you through any hardship.  Those beliefs are facts.  God does want us to have children and faith does bring us through hardship.  But what about a situation like the ones we faced?  Did we not have faith?  Did we not trust Him?  Years ago, I had decided it would be best to keep our decision secret from certain people than to face the criticism.  However, it had taught me not to judge others in their decisions, for unless I walk in their shoes and they in mine, we cannot fully understand each others decisions. 

A few years after Oliver was born, I had looked into having a reversal.  It was possible, I found a Dr. who would do it, filled out necessary forms (to the dismay of my OB GYN, who firmly reminded me that I was extremely high risk and do I seriously want another baby)?  No, I really didn't, but I felt like I had to undo what was done, or maybe I should say redo what I had undone. We needed $5,000.00 and I prayed, "God, if you provide the money, I will have it done."  I soon found out our insurance would pay for it!  However ............  I chickened out ...... I drug my feet ...... what if I do get pregnant ....... what if I die ...... what if the baby would need heart surgery too ....... I feel too old .......

Soon, the insurance no longer covered it and we didn't have the money.

Life moved on, but then I secretly carried another guilt.  I lied to God!  I said I would and I didn't.  Does God forgive that?  

So, Monday's conversation brought back all those feelings and questions.  And once again tears flowed.  "Lord, am I forgiven?"  I know I serve a loving, forgiving Father, but I deliberately did not follow through on my deal with Him.  Then this small voice whispered....... remember Peter?  Ahhh, my Peter! My favorite disciple in the Bible! 

"Though all men shall be confused because of thee, yet will I never be confused," says Peter to Jesus.  "Verily I say unto you, That this night, before the cock crow, you shall deny me 3 times," answers Jesus.  Peter said back to Him, "though I should die with thee, yet will I NOT deny thee," 

Further on in Matthew 26, you will soon find that Peter did not follow through on his deal with Jesus.  He denied Him 3 times, the cock crowed, Peter heard, remembered and wept bitterly with repentance.  Jesus forgave Peter and in John 21:15, you find the proof.  The lie that he told Jesus and then the 3 lies of denial, were buried way down in the depth of forgiveness.  And so is mine!  I am set free from the guilt of the past, my secret is no longer a secret, and my body is whole even in it's brokenness. 

  Thank you, my sweet Heavenly Father!

Until next time........        



Our Ben.....

....just turned 24 years old!  Every time his birthday rolls around, I am filled all over again with thankfulness for his life.  Ben was born at 27 1/2 weeks gestation, 3 months premature.  He was due on March 30th, but arrived January 1st instead, weighing in at 2# 4 oz. (he went as low as 1# 14 oz).  The reason for his prematurity is because I have an incompetent cervix, which we did not know about until I went into labor with him.  An emergency C-section was performed after a weekend of trying to stop my labor.  Ben spent 98 days in the NICU at the Reading Hospital, during which time he almost died several times.  This NICU had only opened in Sept. before Ben was born and he was the 2nd preemie who was born there.

Day he was born....

Because the NICU was new, we were featured in the Reading Eagle.....

This is the day he was finally able to come home, weighing 4# 14 oz.  He came home wearing a monitor for a few months, because he still had trouble with his breathing.

One year old....

The NICU had a 1 year reunion.  This was Dr. "K", who was Jewish and gave the best of care to Ben.  On several occasions we would find him sitting and holding Ben when we came in for our visit.  Him and the rest of the staff became our family.

Life moved on, Ben had his health struggles, but seemed to eventually outgrow them. We could write a book on his journey, but to tell you the truth, while writing this blog and looking through his pictures, sobs want to rise within me.  The memories are very alive.......   Ben has grown into a man, a man who is sensitive, caring and extremely positive.  You will never hear him complain!  and he is the one who usually lifts us up when life gets us down.  Thanks, Ben, for who you are and for what you teach us.  God has a plan for you......

We love you and Happy 24th!  We celebrated with family, straw hats, waffles and ice-cream. 

Until next time...............

    

2012 Christmas Newsletter

Twas the night before Christmas, when all round the house

Not a creature nor person was quiet as a mouse

The work, it seems to grow and doesn't seem to care

If it’s Tuesday, or Sunday, it multiplies there

When the family finally nestles all snug in their beds

Visions of vacations dance round in their heads

And ma in her apron and pa in his barn cap

Realize it's a vacation to just take a nap

When out in the pastures the cows make a clatter

They want more to eat, what was the matter

The feed prices they rose in a flash

Now purchasing feed requires lots of cold cash

The gov't thinks corn works better in ethanol

But the dairymen think that's ridiculous - thats all

So down the road the cows slowly do go

Our minds say "O.K" but our hearts say "No"

Pa works with block, brick & stone, not sticks

To build beautiful projects and does so quite slick

Ma washes, and teaches, and cooks all the time

Her web work and job bring in a few dimes

Now Ben, he still butchers for Highway Meats and Twin Pine

And stays up to date on current events just fine

Solomon moves houses works hard and is on the go

Farm life for this young man is a bit too slow

George is being challenged by science and writing

And loves to be on the farm just abiding

Uriah is learning to write a good book

And loves being techy while being a cook

Oliver whizzes right through his math

And eagerly plays games with anyone in his path

Kelsey keeps busy taking good care of their girls

Number 3 will arrive when the buds start to unfurl

Gordon is fixing tractor trailer trucks big

Training horses is his future but for now it's a gig

The year passed so quickly, just like a quick flash

To put it in writing just seems like a dash

That wraps up our story as told by mom

Want to know more? visit beingtriedasgold.blogspot.com

And with the reminder that you're precious in God’s sight

     We say "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Blessings to each of you in the coming New Year!

Until next time........

The Reality Is.......

.....I am NOT Martha Stewart!! 

Nor the Proverbs 31 Woman!!!

Oh, yes, I do make cheese, and sweet little projects with my Ag Science students.  I can sew a dress, and paint my own house.  But, really, I am not a wonder woman like someone called me.  To prove it, I am choosing to expose the real me.  If you would stop by my house unannounced, you would see what I can't do - like keep an organized house, start and complete the laundry in one day, never have my kitchen sink clear of dirty dishes.  Kitchen floor clean?  Can't tell you the last time I used the mop.  Spider webs?  Yep!  Right above my sink, and over there and over there. And finding things?  Forget it!  Well, I can't!  When something is lost, I become this obsessed woman, wracking my brain on where I left it.  Please don't tell anyone, but the frustration of it drives me to tears occassionally.  Ok, Martha, how is it done again?  And did you homeschool your children?  And what size was your house?  Oh, you have 20 closets to neatly stack all your possessions in?  You have a maid that does your laundry?  And a chef to cook your meals?  My oh my!  Life would be quite peachy if that were my case.  Or would it?  Really?  My head yells "YES", my heart yells right back, "NO!" well......depends on which day you ask me.....

The playroom/laundry is always the worst.  We can clean it up one day and the next it looks like a tornado went through.  I finally gave up.  If the boys are going to play in there, they have to learn to be responsible and keep it tidy.  Well, here is a picture of how it looks sometimes (this was right before a major clean up where some stuff went to the trash and some stuff went to Jubilee), .......

    But, what do I do all day?   Don't you love it when someone asked you that?  And  when you start to think about it, you really don't know?  You know you did something, but what was it?  I decided that I am going to keep a record of how many times I do the basic things for one week.  This does not include the meal fixin', school teachin', grocery shoppin', etc.  I started on a Monday morning and ended Saturday night.  Here are my results:

How many phone calls did I make? 25 

 How many times did I answer the phone (this does not count machine messages)?  40

How many times did I do laundry (does not count those that Dave did)?  12

How many times did I wash dishes by hand?  9

How many times did I run the dishwasher (not counting when Dave did it)?  8

How many eggs did I make?  91 (approx. 7.5 doz)

So what can be gleaned from the results?  Not exactly sure, except how did we talk on the phone while eating all those eggs?

And the laundry......it gets washed, hung in the basement to dry and then ends upstairs to fold....

Sometimes it goes days till it gets folded, in fact, finally yesterday I folded quite a few baskets and do you know how many pairs of socks I matched?  61!!  I can imagine what you are thinking.......poor Brenda's family.  In fact, I remember my big sister telling me when I was about 10 or so (we shared a bedroom) - "I am going to pity your husband one day!"  I didn't realize she was a prophet!  

So, you now see, I am no Martha Stewart nor the Proverbs 31 woman.  I am me!  A woman who God created, a woman who can make cheese, sew and paint, and obviously talk on the phone and make eggs, but has a more difficult time keeping on top of the house.  The point that I want to reach, though, is to be able to remain pleasant and loving, even though the house is sometimes chaotic and I can't find something (like a library science DVD that would've cost $25.00 to replace, which by the way we finally found, but I really don't want to tell you where).  My husband and children will not be near as effected by the topsy turvy house as they will be by my attitudes and manner towards them.  So, next time you come to visit, I will be sitting under the pile of laundry that needs to be folded singing my heart out......... move on over Martha, bet you wouldn't do that!!

Until next time.......